Somebody get me some Gold Bond!

I've been in the gym a lot and I have been wearing the sweat suit a lot which means that I've spent a lot of time in wet clothes. Mama always said I had thunder thighs, and those ham hocks rub together when I am working out. I developed some irritation or a rash near my groin and I chalked it up to sensitive skin, wet clothes, and friction. Over several days the discomfort became constant and I decided to go to Walgreen's and get cortisone cream or something. I talked to the pharmacist and told him that I spend a lot of time in the gym walking, biking, kickboxing and wrestling and he broke the news to me: friction plus moisture = jock itch. What the fuck. I've had athlete's foot, I've had eczema, I've had sun poisoning; I am no stranger to skin problems. But jock itch? Proud to say I had my cherry until now. Before I stepped away from the counter he said, "That's a good way to get in shape. I saw there was a firefighter from Indianapolis on one of them UCF shows. Fought some Serra guy. I don't know much but I thought he got robbed."

I bought some cream and a pair of compression shorts so that my ox-legs don't rub together anymore when I am working out.

Diet 6 p.m. Half a Naked juice, granola bar. 9 a.m. Two slices of leftover pizza, 6 oz of cranberry juice. Too drained to cook. Noon Curried chickpeas over a mixed greens salad, two cookies, soda. 7 p.m. Half a frozen pizza, steamed broccoli, water.

Conditioning 6:30 a.m. Eight push press (95#), 12 bodyweight squats, 15 situps. Eleven sets in 20 minutes. 7:15 a.m. Forty-five minutes on the treadmill at the YMCA.

Skills Nada, but now that I am girded in my fight against jock itch I will go to Throwbacks tomorrow and Friday night, and Saturday afternoon.