I'm in a funk. My boss' last day is tomorrow. She got me into my current position and became one of my best friends in the process. I slept in today and didn't take food to work because we've been going out to lunch. My hips are so damn sore from my Throwbacks workouts that I was walking like an old man all day.

Diet 9 a.m. Half a bottle of Gatorade. Noon Two slices of pizza, two breadsticks, soda. 7 p.m. Qdoba burrito, soda.

I feel gross. SURPRISE!

Just keep moving.

Bomber, in his infinite wisdom, decided that it was better for me to wake up to his intermittent barking between 3 a.m. and 5 a.m. than it was to get a solid night's sleep before heading to Shok fitness. Slept in and ate like crap today but I was feeling ok. Last night's workout thrashed my hips and abs. In months or years past I would have packed it in for the night but I figure if I just kee moving it will be ok. I am starting to accept a higher level of discomfort than I was previously willing to.

Diet 9 a.m. Soda. Noon Some kind of fancy Peppercorn Chicken Fajita sandwich, chips, pickle. 7 p.m. Wendy's burger, fries, soda. 9:30 p.m. Small serving of leftover home made Kung Pao chicken and water. This was a "failing to plan is planning to fail" kind of day.

Conditioning Shadow boxing - three days in a row, my back and shoulders are SORE.

Skills Worked on takedowns and pummeling with Jake O'Brien. This is what I love about these guys - a former Big Ten wrestler and UFC veteran is showing me three different finishes off single leg and double leg takedowns. Not begrudgingly, not because Pat is making him work with the n00b, but because he's fucking nice. Answers questions, doesn't make me feel like an idiot, and suggests things that might work for me as a short heavyweight.

"When you get mad you do fine because your mind stops fucking with you," Pat McPherson says. I'm super frustrated at work right now and it was good to blow off steam at Throwbacks. I worked my left hand a lot - jabs, double jabs, combinations off the jab, jab jab jab jab jibba jabba. My left is going to be superhuman when I get my right hand back from the Land of Brokenness.

I felt tight going in and was worried about not having enough recovery time, but I think I will be ok with doing MMA workouts Mon/Tues/Weds for a while before stepping it up to four nights a week. We'll see how I fare after another CrossFit and MMA workout tomorrow.

I have been worrying that a year isn't enough to do what I need to do to prepare for a pro fight but McPherson is confident that if we can get my conditioning in the right place I'll be just fine. He has more faith in my technical ability than I do, but it's nice that at least one of us thinks I'll be ok.

One thing I didn't bargain for is that this project never stops. Every decision I make effects my attitude and health which affects my training which determines my progress. It's too much sometimes and I crash for days, like last week. This is so much more than I bargained for but it's awesome.

Diet 8 a.m.Yogurt cup and water.NoonRoast beef sandwich, chips, Dr. Pepper.4:30 p.m. Grapes.7 p.m.Channa Masala (curried chickpeas), rice, one piece of bread, three small samosas (vegetable fritters). 10:45 p.m. Two pieces of pizza, more water. Hungry hungry.

Conditioning An hour at Throwbacks - MMA punching/takedown drill, double-end bag, heavy bag, ab work.

Skills Boxing drills, worked on coordination and hand speed.

Back on the Wagon

It's been a long time, I shouldn't-a left you, without a dope blog to step to. Last week was a bit of a clusterfuck.

Amanda brings supergerms home from the rugrats at school and we spent the better part of the week hacking on the couch. I tried to do my Friday workout at Shok but Jeff sent me home. I guess my face kept flushing and draining and my eyes were rolling around a bit. I normally look and feel like shit during CrossFit workouts but this was next-level type ish.

I took Friday off work and rested for most of the weekend. I feel pretty good today and managed to knock out my 6 a.m. workout with both hands. I am still favoring my right - I can't hit anything and I am getting shooting pains around the break - but I can lift stuff and use the hand normally with a little discomfort.

Further complicating my week was this pesky freelance story. None of my sources wanted to respond to me but I finally pulled it together this morning. It will appear in the next issue of FIGHT!. I'm also trying to hammer out a deal to report on MMA for a prominent blog. Hectic.

This week I am going to plan the next three months of this project. I have made a lot of progress in some areas, in others not so much. Now I need to hit it hard and start planning fights, getting my diet under more control, and proving both my loyal readers with more "extra" content - reviews, interviews and the like.

Diet 5:30 a.m. Small bowl of Kashi with milk. 7:30 a.m. Two pieces of sausage, two scrambled eggs, half a bottle of Naked juice and water. 11 a.m. Grapes. 1 p.m. Turkey sandwich. 3:30 p.m. Small portion of mashed potatoes and carrots. 6:15 p.m. Granola, water, Gatorade 8 p.m. Pizza and steamed vegetables. I drank approximately one gallon of water.

Conditioning I did a 21-15-9 workout at Shok this morning and did a lot of shadowboxing, 300 jabs on the heavy bag, and lunges and push ups at Throwbacks.

Skills Talked boxing with Ian Ransburg, a pro boxer, Thai fighter, and long time training associate of Adam Wilder: hand placement, footwork, and the application of boxing to Muay Thai and MMA.

Must...sleep

Runnin' non-stop all weekend, eating like crap and not sleeping enough. I'll put some fiber into my life and get regular with the blog. Barring grievous bodily injury or death I'm going to be in the gym Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday morning, Monday and Wednesday night, and Saturday afternoon. Amanda is going to take pictures at Shok on Thursday or Saturday morning depending on her schedule. I'm going to start posting interviews with coaches, trainers, and training partners along with pictures and video of them. I'm also going to develop some sort of plan for my fight schedule. I feel like I am making progress but I need some solid goal to work towards each six to 8eight weeks in order to maintain focus.

Catching Up

Nothing too important happened over the weekend. My diet was crap but there was no soda. Thank God for small miracles.

Monday
I slept through my alarm and missed my Shok workout. Our dog Bomber was being an ass and woke me up repeatedly throughout the night. Diet was good - several small meals, a gallon of water, no soda, Gatorade after my one-handed Throwbacks workout. Oh, the one-handed workout. Two long rounds of walking knees, 50/50 kicks, 500 skip knees on the bag, 15 minutes of Muay Thai shadow boxing, 200 sit ups and 60 standing lunges (30 each leg). It's amazing how fast I lost ground with my conditioning. "Wind is perishable," trainer Pat McPherson said. Amanda and I went to the YMCA later and walked on the treadmills. I am helping her get back into a regular gym schedule and the walking helps me work lactic acid out of my legs.

Tuesday
Didn't have a very restful sleep but I didn't have to work out, either. Diet was ok, but I had a celebratory Dr. Pepper with dinner. I was tentatively offered a job that I am really excited about, so I had a little 16 ounce party.

Wednesday
Another bad night of sleep. Bomber is getting crated every night from now own. I made it to Shok a few minutes late, stretched, and hit it hard. I had to work later than normal today, so my MMA workout will have to get pushed to tomorrow. A trip to the YMCA may be in order just to do something.

Diet 7 a.m. Bowl of strawberries, watermelon, grapes and pineapple chunks. 9 a.m. Bottle of Switch - 100% carbonated fruit juice, no added sugars. Still "junk" calories, but I am ok with fruit juice once in a while. 11 a.m.Yogurt cup. 12:30 p.m. Qdoba beef burrito, no rice. 1:15 p.m. Carrots. 5 p.m. Turkey sandwich, Frrrrrrrrrrrrritos.

Still here.

Most days its all I can do to get up, go to the gym, walk the dog, work a full day and say hello to my girlfriend and make dinner when I get home. Some days I can't even do that. Then there's the daily grind of phone calls, e-mails, and texts to return to employers, family, friends, and freelance gigs. Its those days when it's more than I can bear, more than I can manage to open my laptop and write about what I did, what I ate, when I shit and how I felt about all of it. Someone contacted me today about a possible part-time gig that I am really excited about, and I spent tonight getting an updated resume and clippings together for that. I also had to wrap up a freelance story that had dragged out more than a week overdue and help Amanda with some wedding planning. Now I have to get in bed soon to make my 5:30 a.m. wake up so I can get to Shok Fitness. I will catch up all three of my regular readers on what I've been doing the last few days tomorrow night.

Awesome workout at Shok today. I ended up lifting a bit with my right hand because it didn't hurt too bad. I realized this morning that I never put up my "first of the month" pictures for November, so I will get on that tonight.

Diet 8 a.m. Leftover bean curd with garlic sauce, smaller than a lunch portion, and 12 ounces of water. 10 a.m. Small bowl of fruit and a bottle of Gatorade. 11 a.m. PB&J, chips, carrots, a couple of cookies, more water.

Shok Fitness

I started a one-month "boot camp" at Shok Fitness on Brookville Road. The gym's slogan is "super high output kinetics" and it is a CrossFit affiliate. I'll explain more about CrossFit later, but suffice to say it is a grueling physical training program favored by law enforcement and fire departments as well as many high-level combat sports competitors. This morning's workout consisted of three warm up stretches done in rotation for several minutes and a "21-15-9" (denoting the number of reps per set) workout circuit of kettlebell lifts, clean and jerk, double unders (a jump rope exercise) and box jumps. The workout took me 11:54 - 11 minutes, 54 seconds - and I was totally thrashed afterwards. Owner Jeff Chapman (a Krav Maga instructor and BJJ blue belt) oversees almost all the classes. I get a super good vibe from him, he has a long history in high performance athletics, martial arts and combat sports. The gym is less than three miles from my house and because of the way the training is formatted, I can get home from the 6 a.m. session by 7 a.m. Needless to say I think Shok is the best possible solution for my fitness and conditioning problem right now.

Diet 8 a.m. Two eggs, toast, strawberries, eight ounces of water. 10:30 a.m. Hungry after doctor's appointment. Turkey sandwich, chips, carrots, a few cookies, 16 ounces of water. 1 p.m. Granola bar. 3 p.m. Starbucks Grande Mocha and 16 ounces of water. 8:30 p.m. Walked at the YMCA with Amanda for a while to help her get into a workout routine and flushed a lot of lactic acid out of my legs in the process. Bean curd with garlic sauce and 16 ounces of water.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck

I went to the doctor today and confirmed that my hand is broken. Boxer's break, ring-finger knuckle, right hand. I'll be splinted for two weeks, which is much better than being casted for six weeks like the last time I broke a knuckle. Workouts will be adapted, progress will continue.

The only constant is change.

The last few days have been difficult mentally, emotionally, and physically. I jammed my right hand ring finger knuckle rough housing with my dog, Bomber, and am having difficulty making a fist, lifting or turning things with my right hand. Ice, elevation, stretching and compression haven't helped in four days and I am considering going to a doctor to check for a hairline fracture. I decided to leave Velocity for a gym closer to home, which I will write about at greater length later. The cost of time and fuel to get up to Carmel and back twice a week was become prohibitive and I could no longer commit to being there as much as I needed to be. I also did something stupid that endangered my relationship. The details aren't pertinent but I was in danger of losing my fiancee so I took a day off work to take a road trip with her and try to make things right or at least lay some groundwork so that I don't fuck up again in the future. Weeks like this multiply the appreciation I have for all athletes who have to balance their families and personal health and happiness with a training routine that can be disruptive if not downright destructive.

Throwbacks Boxing & MMA

Here's a look at my Throwbacks workouts with trainers Pat McPherson and Adam Wilder. McPherson's fields of expertise include wrestling, jiu jitsu, and telling me I am capable of doing more work than I want to do. Wilder is a Muay Thai instructor who enjoys kneeing me in the ribs while giddily shouting some Thai word. Photos by Amanda Mauer.

Let's get sweat going.

"Make him lick his own nipples."

Right hand.

Left kick.

Mat time.

This is not good.

This is bad.

I reversed, got a good base in McPherson's guard and...shit.

I don't feel like I got my money's worth unless I get to finish with 100 crunches.

Chris Frayer, Keith Palmer and I listen as McPherson stresses the importance of having a really big mustache in MMA.

Stuff.

A little overloaded. Tomorrow I will post monthly update photos that we took as well as updates on my diet, training, conditioning, and overall health. "Things are gonna change, I can feel it."

No Soda Death March

Here's an interesting essay by acclaimed playwright David Mamet on MMA. If you aren't familiar with Mamet, google the phrase "coffee is for closers."

I am more than halfway through my fourth day with zero soda. Yesterday felt like a death march but I am catching a second wind today. Slept through my alarm, and thus, my Velocity workout. I don't know if it is a seasonal change or what but for the last couple of days it has felt like I am pouring water into a bottomless bucket - no amount of sleep makes me feel rested and energized.

Diet 8 a.m. Kashi with milk and strawberries. 11 a.m. Turkey sammich, carrots, chips, water. 1 p.m. Lean Cuisine garlic beef and brocolli and a can of lemonade. Low fat, low calorie, low flavor! 5 p.m. Banana and water.