I'm cold, no hot, no cold...

I started dry heaving in the car yesterday on the way home from Velocity. The circuit weight training was more intense than I am used to and my empty stomach wasn't pleased. Soaked with sweat, the cool morning air felt frigid, so the 30 minute ride home was a seesaw of rolling the window down to get fresh air, feeling nauseated and rolling it back up only to have my stomach turn from the heat and my own stench. I felt much better after a shower and three tuna salad sandwiches on toasted wheat bread.

I think I am going to settle into a routine of Tuesday and Thursday mornings at Velocity, Monday and Wednesday nights at Throwbacks, and Tuesday night and Saturday afternoons at Self Defense Systems. It's a lot but it will still give me four nights a week to relax and hang out with Amanda and that balance is crucial. I am taking the next couple of days off from blogging to gather my thoughts and plan the next month. I feel like I have made significant progress in areas that are likely only noticeable to me.

I Love It When A Plan Comes Together

"Start warming up," Pat McPherson says. The Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department Officer is the head trainer of a stable of professional fighters that includes Ultimate Fighting Championship veterans Chris Lytle and "Irish" Jake O'Brien as well as up and comers like Nate Moore, Johnny Rees, and Shamar Bailey.

I came down to Throwbacks Boxing & MMA gym to talk to McPherson, manager and promoter Keith Palmer, the owner of the gym, Travis, and the elusive Muay Thai instructor Adam who Amanda trained with under Sakasem Kanthawong. This group of fighters is an extension of the Integrated Fighting team founded by Pancrase veteran Jason Godsey in the mid-1990s. They are a bit nomadic, moving from gym to gym for reasons I am not privvy to. Their current home is Throwbacks, a warehouse on the back side of a strip mall on Indy's far south side.

Tonight was supposed to be an introduction. It was, but not the one I was expecting. "Walking knees around the mat," McPherson says. Shit. Several minutes later my hips are seizing up, my feet are slipping on wrestling mats soaked through with sweat, and McPherson glances over to tell me I am almost done. Adam finishes with the fighters for the night and runs me through basic body mechanics of Muay Thai punches, kicks, and knees. My second round of walking knees leaves my calves numb. I can't tell if my heels are touching the mat - I can't tell if I have legs below my fucking knees.

I explain my plans to Adam and he is on board and stoked. McPherson wanders over and give him the same spiel and ask him if I can start working in with his guys, probably in a couple of months when I am in better physical condition. "Nah, just come in Monday," he says. I express my concerns but McPherson says they'll push me until he feels I can't go and he'll ease off. "When guys say they'll start coming in when they are in shape they never do it," he says. It's interesting to consider how much slack you cut yourself without realizing it when you don't have anyone to push you. I've received martial arts instruction but I've never had a fight coach, someone to tell me that I can do another rep, I can throw 10 more kicks, I can grapple another five minutes and I will do just that.

Travis works me out for another 30 minutes, dismantling my boxing mechanics and shooting the breeze about the Sweet Science. Some stuff I like, some stuff...the jury is still out. So as of right now I'll be starting twice-weekly workouts at Throwbacks, working on boxing, Muay Thai, and submission grappling with whoever is there. "It's not like a regular school," McPherson said, "We have 20 fighters and 21 people" who train. Add one to your total, Pat.

Diet I don't want to talk about it, haha. I drank a lot of water, that's today's victory.
Conditioning Just two 30 minute sessions at Throwbacks.
Skills Worked on footwork and punching mechanics for boxing and Muay Thai and found out I lean a lot on my front foot so I need to work on correcting that.

A couple of weeks ago I admitted to my bandmates that I wasn't stoked on playing live shows anymore. I love playing music, and playing live is fun, but my focus is shifting. Music will always figure into my life but I am serious about my career, and I am serious about this project. By the time I get home, I just want to hang out with Bomber and Amanda and read a damn book. I don't want to be aggravated when I meet up with my dudes to play rock and roll. I don't want to let it go but it may be gone already. I used to think I couldn't live without it, but I've lost a lot ofthings and people I couldn't live without and here I am.

I've felt like crap for days. I can't get enough sleep, I feel listless. I already had a lot of respect for professional fighters, but I am really starting to appreciate the dedication required to pursue a career in the fight game while working a full time job and taking care of social and familial obligations.

I am heading down to Throwbacks Boxing & MMA tomorrow to work out for the first time. Ideally I will box, train Muay Thai, and work out with a group of pro fighters there on a regular basis. It's a mile from my "home" gym, SDS, and I am already somewhat familiar with the crew there, so if my training is split between SDS and Throwbacks I'll be a happy little camper.

Ugh

This weekend was a bit of a clusterfuck. My band played in Muncie, Ind. on Friday. It was kind of a pain in the ass show - we loaded in up a huge flight of stairs and the microphone shocked my face at the beginning of the last song. The bar was cool, though. The Heorot is a Beowulf-themed watering hole on the main drag. A dragon erupts from one wall and the other is stocked with obscure imported beers.

I got four good rounds of boxing in on Saturday after working with Moises for a while. I am working on pressing the gap and forcing the action, bulldogging faster or taller fighters without coming straight up the middle and exposing myself to counter attacks. After Moises' workouts John Eckles talked to him about not being an "aim and shoot" and fighter. Aim and shoot fighters see a target and make a decision to hit it. John tried to impress upon Moises the importance of being target motivatated: targets appear and you touch them. No decision making, just reactions.

Saturday night I was exhausted, and Sunday was more running around until I had to be at the Melody Inn for another show. Luckily an old bandmate and a friend came up from Bloomington, Ind. to hang out, so my spirits were lifted. I got home around midnight completely wiped out.

The last week has been frustrating. My sleep schedule was screwed up which stole time I would have used to make food for work and I ended up being rushed and tired and cranky going into the weekend. I'm getting in bed early tonight in the hopes that it will result in a good week.

Where Am I

I laid down in bed at 11 p.m. last night and woke up at 4:30 a.m. - on the couch. I very vaugely remember being woken up by Bomber but I have no idea why I decided to lay down in the living room. I went to Velocity and felt ok but my mood and energy level deteriorated throughout the day. I ended up scrapping some work I had to do tonight as well as a sparring session with Wyatt because I couldn't stay awake. I just woke up from a two to three-hour nap: I feel better but I can't say I feel good.